Hello! As you know, I speak both Japanese and English. I wanted to talk about the difficulties being a bilingual. I used to have two "me" depending on which language I talked. The behaviour you are expected as a Japanese person and behaviour for an English speaking person are totally different.
For example, I used to work at a hotel gym. I needed to read what Japanese customers wanted because they wouldn't reach out to me. However, for foreign customer, if they needed something they'd come to me and talk to me. My brain used to work differently when I was speaking Japanese and English. However, I struggled having two personalities in myself, so I decided to have one "me". So even when I speak Japanese, my behaviour works in non-Japanese way. This might look odd but if I decide to have two personalities, it would cause me depression.
Although I'm living in Japan right now, my behaviour might be different from ordinal Japanese people. Sometimes, I pretend like I'm not a Japanese lol For example, I would be wearing t-shirt even during winter beneath hoodie. Japanese people see me wearing t-shirt on the train but I pretend like I'm a foreigner so that they wouldn't point out my strangeness. Japanese people like to behave in the same way as others, do the same things, and follow others. In another words, they like to pursue group consciousness. However, in the western countries, it's more like individualism.
I'm still figuring out how to live in Japan. However, I really don't want to have two personalities in myself. I feel Japanese society is always advocating for changes. Saying the importance of internationalism. However, especially in HR perspective, it seems to me that Japan wants someone fluent in English but have Japanese personality. It's too much to ask. It's natural that your behaviour changes if you speak different language. So Japanese society needs to accept diversity not expecting everyone to behave in the same way.
Haruka
Me with friends at halls back in England
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